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A Cardi B cocktail, Walmart toilet seats and discounted Rice-a-Roni at a swap meat: All things I'd commit to before slapping a ring on the talons of one of these harpies.

Japanese girl destroys physics and my expectations of all sub lb females at the same damn time. I officially want to be the first American to lend our "Home of the Brave" slogan out to Eastern Asia.

Azumi just earned her badge of courage. If not for this award-winning acting clinic, then for that special my mom taught me how to do this sexual prowess you just don't see anymore.

Sure - you could be some cookie cutter piss sickening wannabe and slingshot your muffin butter onto your girl's face.

Or even the neighbor's litter box perhaps. But only a real man would dare take the road less traveled. Example: This king. Nothing says "committed relationship" like turning your girlfriend's dirty octopus into a wonderful mistake.

Typical millennial. Don't be misled by the Victoria's Secret attire and willingness to film. She may resemble that waitress at Denny's you wanted to fuck in dad's El Camino Featured Videos.

You Fucked Up Bro Nice face. The Destroyer of Assholes From this angle it appears she's fucking an eggplant.

You Can Never Unsee This Sweet mother of expired deli meat, what in the mother fucking Arby's value meal menu is going on here?

LOL: How to Ruin a Cuckold It's all fun and games until the computer engineer you hired to fuck the basic motor function out of your wife, gasses out before the 11th pump.

Your Girlfriend is Cheating on You Getting a piece on the side is pretty straight-forward: Swipe right a few times on Tinder and let the self-loathing begin.

This girl's back alley clambake video is running on every damn advertisement on every porn website in the fucking world.

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Japanese girl destroys physics and my expectations of all sub lb females at the same damn time. I officially want to be the first American to lend our "Home of the Brave" slogan out to Eastern Asia.

Azumi just earned her badge of courage. If not for this award-winning acting clinic, then for that special my mom taught me how to do this sexual prowess you just don't see anymore.

Sure - you could be some cookie cutter piss sickening wannabe and slingshot your muffin butter onto your girl's face.

Or even the neighbor's litter box perhaps. But only a real man would dare take the road less traveled. Example: This king. Nothing says "committed relationship" like turning your girlfriend's dirty octopus into a wonderful mistake.

Typical millennial. Don't be misled by the Victoria's Secret attire and willingness to film. Nice body. But what really sold me was the low mileage turd cutter.

Take a good look. No wrinkles, no stains. It's nothing more than a dot. If there's one thing that never fails to get a fuckload of clicks - it's videos of unexpected butt love.

So here's 8 of em. I Jacked off to this 3 Times Now. Going for 4 "I tried my best to caption this but half the shit that comes out of her mouth makes no sense.

I Had to watch this One Twice to Believe it ALWAYS Ask Before Cumming on the Face Another round of jizz-intolerant whores getting pwn3d by the substance they loathe most, resulting in all sorts of fucked up, boner-inducing reaction 31, efukt.

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